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"But all we have is..."
The Disciples looked over the people. No doubt, they had begun to try to calculate the size of the crowd. The evening was late, here they were gathered out in the middle of nowhere without so much as a golden arches on the horizon. They looked over the crowd. It was huge. Where had they all come from? The day had started out with Jesus “wanting to be alone.” He went in a boat to get away for a bit. But crowds of people had followed him. They had spilled out of the towns, out of the villages. And there they stood, on the shore, waiting for his boat to return. When Jesus did come ashore, the crowd had grown enormous. They had brought with them their sick. They had brought with them their need. And the enormous crowd’s needs were indeed, enormous. Jesus looked at them, and Matthew says he had deep concern for them. Their needs. The sick they had brought. And he healed their sick. All day. Touching this one, then that one. All day, well into the evening. The crowd seemed larger than ever. The Disciples looked over them, tried to determine how many there were, counted and calculated, and came to the realization that they did not have the resources it would take to care of them all. They run to Jesus. “Lord,” they said to him. “It’s past supper time--you probably should tell them all to go so they can get back to the villages and get something to eat.” Jesus looks at them, and says simply, “They don’t need to leave. How about you all giving them something to eat.” It was a ridiculous thing to say. The disciples begin to calculate again. This time, they aren’t counting people. They count loaves of bread, fish. Loaves of bread....5. Fish....2. That’s it. 1-2-3-4-5 loaves. 1-2 fish. They count and point out the obvious—making sure Jesus understands how ludicrous his suggestion is. “Lord. Look at the crowd. All we have is five loaves, (isn’t that right? 1-2-3-4-5 loaves. Yep. That’s it.) And two fish.” (Make sure, count again, 1-2 Fish. Yep. That’s it.) “We’ve all counted it. And all we have is…five and two. But had they counted correctly? The Disciples count like most of us count. We take a look at our resources and wonder if it is enough. My mother used to take a look at what she had set out to make supper, and count, wondering if it was enough to feed her large family. And if someone unexpected showed up, she’d count again. Trying to calculate if she could make it stretch. I’ve done that. Counted up what I had, wondering if it was enough. Have you ever done that? I’ll tell you something…this is confession now, understand. I get statements every once in a while on my pension account. Tells me a projection of what I might receive after I retire. Whenever I get that statement which is a couple times a year, I do the math. Will it be enough? I get out my last year’s Social Security projection, add it to the Pension projection, take into consideration the need to purchase a home when I retire, and I count. Don’t you think I’m awfully young to be so worried about what I can count on? Do you do that? Count your resources. Will it be enough? Will it pay the bills? Will it be enough to meet all of needs? Will it keep dinner on the table? Will it be enough to send the kids to college? Will it be enough to retire on? Will it run out before I’m gone? Will it cover if I need to go to a nursing facility? You know what? We do that in the church! We count up the pledges, and the sources of income we think we can count on, and then try to determine if it will pay all the bills. If we’ll need to cut something. We count up and calculate our budget. I know some of you are concerned about the past couple of letters you have received from me and from the Finance Committee about the needs of the church. Those letters came about because I’ve been counting, and the Finance Committee has been counting, and we’ve been also assessing the needs, like continued building and maintenance costs and higher utility bills. And out counting has caused some of you to count. Do I have enough to give more? Look at all the needs, and all I have is …. So the church has been counting and I have been counting and you have been counting. And you know what? Like the Disciples, I don’t think we’ve been counting correctly. The Disciples counted their bread. 1-2-3-4-5. They counted the fish. 1-2. They counted the crowd, 1 thousand, 2 thousand, 3 thousand, 4 thousand, 5 thousand. But they forgot to count all they had. The calculations looked hopeless. However you counted it, there was no possible way they had enough to take care of so many. But they hadn’t counted correctly…they hadn’t counted on Jesus. They had 5 loaves, 2 fish, and Jesus. And you see, in the end, that was more than enough! Much more. So much more that Matthew tells us 12 baskets of the leftovers were gathered up afterward! What are 5 loaves and 2 fish among so many people? Hardly anything. Each would receive nothing more than a mere crumb of food, if that. What are 5 loaves and 2 fish AND Jesus among so many? More than enough, with plenty left over besides. Whenever we are faced with a need that is greater than the resources we can muster on our own…whenever we hear ourselves saying, “All I have is …” Then hear the voice of the one who says, “Bring what you have to me.” This week, this wonderful story has helped me. It has reminded me. That too often, I am too nearsighted in my counting. I look at what’s available and say, “I only have this. Or I only have that. Or the church only has this. Or the church only has that. Shame on me! Shame on me! I have forgotten. I have neglected to add in the most abundant, plentiful resource that is there, before me. When Christ is figured in—when the power of the Almighty is calculated, when we are bold enough to COUNT ON WHAT GOD WILL PROVIDE—there is more than enough. Always, more than enough! I am placing the needs of this church in God’s hands. I am ashamed to tell you that I haven’t been faithful enough to completely trust that. I am putting the ministry that God desires for us to do from this church in God’s hands. I invite you to do the same. I invite you to pray. To ask God to shape and form us into faithful people. To show us, each one, the resources that are available when we begin to rely on the providence of God. “Bring what you have here to me,” Jesus says to his disciples. “Bring what you have here to me,” Jesus says to us. Whatever you have, it will be enough when you offer it to be blessed in the hands of Jesus. “We only have this much,” we say. Jesus says, “Whatever you have, bring it here to me.” And we trust, that it will be enough. It will be enough. |
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